I sat on the couch...
...and flipped through pictures of a buck-naked newborn peeping out from under a blanket, to a toddler with a head about as big as his curiosity, to an awkward teen who had more pimples than dates. And at times I had to admit, “Damn, I didn’t realize I was such a handsome kid.” The scary thing is, we could have passed for twins. That evening, at my parents house I reflected on my life in it’s different stages and it left me walking into the next stage with a real good feeling.
Today, I’m my biggest critic. I’m the first to say I’m wack or that sh*t I did just sucks. It’s that self-criticism that constantly makes me push a little further…try-learn-see-make-write something different. If I can’t do that I don’t feel I’m being true to myself and it depresses me. So, I try to do everything to my full potential and if a certain activity doesn’t elevate me to a higher understanding of the creative process…I try to avoid it. Especially if I only have the time and energy to do it in a half-@ssed way. That’s just not me. But at this stage in my life, it’s not about me. It’s about you.
In the past I’ve said, “I put so much of myself into my writing that you could clone me from the ink”. But lately I’ve viewed writing as a bad investment, one with no pay-off. And the time that I spent doing it could be used differently, in a way that is of more benefit to you. Although, after that evening at my parent’s house I realized that my writing can have purpose and be worth something, someday. So with that said…I’ll write for you.
Only I won’t be so hard on myself or try to impress you with twisted tales that are mostly written to fortify my ego. I’ll just focus on the straight talk, hoping that details I’ll give you will put together images that will one day give you the same feeling I had. Plus, I’d like to give you some insight into what my life was like and what was going on behind the scenes. I’m not sure what our relationship will be like when you read this. But, I do know that certain things I’ll do in your lifetime you won’t like or understand. I’m just hoping that we’ll be friends because right now, you’re my best friend. So when you do read this all I ask is…be easy on me. Don’t give me the same look I gave my father when I saw that picture of him in a wide-collar baby blue suit sporting a huge afro and sideburns. Just cut me a little slack. Because as you’ll see, we all go though stages.
Today, I’m my biggest critic. I’m the first to say I’m wack or that sh*t I did just sucks. It’s that self-criticism that constantly makes me push a little further…try-learn-see-make-write something different. If I can’t do that I don’t feel I’m being true to myself and it depresses me. So, I try to do everything to my full potential and if a certain activity doesn’t elevate me to a higher understanding of the creative process…I try to avoid it. Especially if I only have the time and energy to do it in a half-@ssed way. That’s just not me. But at this stage in my life, it’s not about me. It’s about you.
In the past I’ve said, “I put so much of myself into my writing that you could clone me from the ink”. But lately I’ve viewed writing as a bad investment, one with no pay-off. And the time that I spent doing it could be used differently, in a way that is of more benefit to you. Although, after that evening at my parent’s house I realized that my writing can have purpose and be worth something, someday. So with that said…I’ll write for you.
Only I won’t be so hard on myself or try to impress you with twisted tales that are mostly written to fortify my ego. I’ll just focus on the straight talk, hoping that details I’ll give you will put together images that will one day give you the same feeling I had. Plus, I’d like to give you some insight into what my life was like and what was going on behind the scenes. I’m not sure what our relationship will be like when you read this. But, I do know that certain things I’ll do in your lifetime you won’t like or understand. I’m just hoping that we’ll be friends because right now, you’re my best friend. So when you do read this all I ask is…be easy on me. Don’t give me the same look I gave my father when I saw that picture of him in a wide-collar baby blue suit sporting a huge afro and sideburns. Just cut me a little slack. Because as you’ll see, we all go though stages.
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