Monday, August 22, 2005

The art of the straight face.

----- Original note -----
Date: Aug.16.2005 10:48
From: tundara
To: MisterChris

tundara: cute pic

MC: Thanks. In the original picture I was standing next to Brandy, but her laywers contacted me and made me crop her out of it.

tundara: WOW.....That’s messed up!!!

MC: Yeah it is, considering that right after the picture was taken one of her body guards tackled me. I don't even know where he came from, but the next thing I knew I'm on the ground with some huge guy kicking me in the chest. I ended up with a few broken ribs and a collapsed lung. Plus, I managed to bite the hell out of my tongue and when I started to seize. I think at least they could have let me put the picture on my page or have given me a stick to bite on.

tundara: Oh my GOD!!!! That is not cool!!! Well ....did Brandy even apologize for them?

MC: Apologize? Honestly, I feel like she set me up. When I saw her I first asked if I could take a picture with her and she said it was cool as long as I put a shirt on. Then the next thing you know she started screaming "Get your hand off my @ss!" and then her goons smothered me. I've always heard she was a diva, but her personality just totally switched up on me in a matter of seconds. It was like she enjoyed seeing me getting beat down; because I think if a person felt like they were in danger they would leave the area. But she didn't, she stood there the whole time telling her "staff" what to do.

tundara: I never did like Brandy!!

MC: You know, I never really liked her either. Before the "incident" I think I only knew one of her songs. But ever since I got released from the intensive care unit I can't seem to get her off my mind. It's weird, I bought all of her albums, DVDs, posters and what not. I've even submitted paperwork into the courts to request a DNA test to see if I was the father of her child. It's a long shot, but wouldn't it be a trip if I was her baby daddy?

tundara: LOL You have issues!!! LOL

MC: Why, because I have dreams of settling down and raising a family? I don't get you women! I thought that's what you wanted. When a guy is sleeping around with several different women he's a dog...but when he wants to do the right thing he has issues and his dreams are laughed at? Well let me tell you something Miss Quick-to-Judge-and-Laugh-at-Everybody....I have the right to have real happiness in my life. Not just the kind of happiness that comes in a prescription! I don't care what you, my mother, or my high school guidance counselor says! According to the DNA test there could be a 99% chance that I'm NOT the father....but that's ok...because in my heart all I need is 1% to know the truth. So well just wait and see...then I'll show you. I'll show you all! You know, you sound alot like Brandy's legal representation. Are you screwing with me? Because if you are…it’s NOT cool.

tundara: LOL.....OOOOOOO.......K!

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