Dear Reader,
Hello.
The comment function of my blog is now open for business. As the days go by you might notice that no one really leaves their comments. I want to assure you it is not because no one reads my blog or I don’t have any friends. On the contrary, I am extremely popular and everyone loves me. My blog has more worldwide readers than the New York Times and is translated into 32 different languages. Sometimes people even stop me on the street and say, “Hey!!!! Aren’t you MisterChris? Oh my God….it’s you…this is the best day of my life!!!!! You are exactly the same in person as you are in your writing….drunk!!!” And women…fo’gettaboutit. They just run up on me wherever I’m at with exotic elixirs and invitations to the paradise of pornographic pleasure. They just can’t seem to get enough of the C-man. And really now….can you blame them? That’s like tellin’ a fish not to drink the water. Man, I was just tellin’ Stacy Dash to chill the other day. I was like, “Stacy, honey….you gotta relax. This blog thing is not the end-all-be-all of our existence. I’ll write about you one day. Of course, I enjoyed the cheese eggs….what man wouldn’t? But there’s a lot of things I don’t write about.” Anyway, back to why you won’t find any comments on my blog. Well, I attribute it to most people being star struck, flabbergasted, or both. Popularity is a double-edged sword. If you don’t believe me let me ask you this….how can someone with testimonials like these not be America’s favorite guy?
The Testimonials:
“I should have never introduced Stacy Dash to Chris. My life with Marc has been so pale in comparison.”
- Jennifer Lopez
“I’m MisterChris!!! B*tch!!!!”
- Dave Chapelle
“Chris is like the life of every party….all rolled up into a drunk, judgmental, verbally abusive, ball of anger.”
- Some jerk at the party
“Now that’s a guy who really has a way with the ladies.”
- Hugh Heffner
“My only regret is not having had experienced and night out with the C-man.”
- Ronald Regan
“If everyone would get in touch with that little Chris inside us, the world would be a much better place.”
- Oprah Winfrey
“I’m not sure who this ‘MisterChris’ is….but this sunova b*tch sounds like a one f*ckin’ hellava guy.”
- Bill Cosby
Oh my…..and the list goes on.
So, in conclusion do not judge a man by the size of the comments in his blog, judge him by the truthfulness and virtue of morality in his words.
Thank you….my cherished reader…..and God Bless.
Management
Hello.
The comment function of my blog is now open for business. As the days go by you might notice that no one really leaves their comments. I want to assure you it is not because no one reads my blog or I don’t have any friends. On the contrary, I am extremely popular and everyone loves me. My blog has more worldwide readers than the New York Times and is translated into 32 different languages. Sometimes people even stop me on the street and say, “Hey!!!! Aren’t you MisterChris? Oh my God….it’s you…this is the best day of my life!!!!! You are exactly the same in person as you are in your writing….drunk!!!” And women…fo’gettaboutit. They just run up on me wherever I’m at with exotic elixirs and invitations to the paradise of pornographic pleasure. They just can’t seem to get enough of the C-man. And really now….can you blame them? That’s like tellin’ a fish not to drink the water. Man, I was just tellin’ Stacy Dash to chill the other day. I was like, “Stacy, honey….you gotta relax. This blog thing is not the end-all-be-all of our existence. I’ll write about you one day. Of course, I enjoyed the cheese eggs….what man wouldn’t? But there’s a lot of things I don’t write about.” Anyway, back to why you won’t find any comments on my blog. Well, I attribute it to most people being star struck, flabbergasted, or both. Popularity is a double-edged sword. If you don’t believe me let me ask you this….how can someone with testimonials like these not be America’s favorite guy?
The Testimonials:
“I should have never introduced Stacy Dash to Chris. My life with Marc has been so pale in comparison.”
- Jennifer Lopez
“I’m MisterChris!!! B*tch!!!!”
- Dave Chapelle
“Chris is like the life of every party….all rolled up into a drunk, judgmental, verbally abusive, ball of anger.”
- Some jerk at the party
“Now that’s a guy who really has a way with the ladies.”
- Hugh Heffner
“My only regret is not having had experienced and night out with the C-man.”
- Ronald Regan
“If everyone would get in touch with that little Chris inside us, the world would be a much better place.”
- Oprah Winfrey
“I’m not sure who this ‘MisterChris’ is….but this sunova b*tch sounds like a one f*ckin’ hellava guy.”
- Bill Cosby
Oh my…..and the list goes on.
So, in conclusion do not judge a man by the size of the comments in his blog, judge him by the truthfulness and virtue of morality in his words.
Thank you….my cherished reader…..and God Bless.
Management
2 Comments:
Damn Chris, you are sooooooo sexy.
This is a little lack-luster.
Once again...
*sound of rolling tumbleweed*
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