In a Nutshell

1. Friday I shut off the computer and joined the rest of Boston’s social misfits in the only two words that seem to bring people out of hibernation by the dozens. Bar Crawl.
2. Five out of ten bars isn’t bad, especially when you have ten out of ten tasks to complete in the morning. Plus, it’s always been my experience that after bar number eight people are all set to provide new footage for the tv show “Cops”. Time to bounce.
3. After going to a cigar bar for the first time I’ve decided that I’d rather be shackled in a Texas hot box with a pile of cow manure during the peak days of summer.
4. I spent months looking for the ceramic tile that matches my kitchen floor without success. So at home this weekend I could be found on all fours, ripping up 160 square feet of perfectly good tile. Heartbreaking.
5. Back pain + unfinished work + an inbred stubbornness = a week off from the gym.
6. It seems to me that the tighter a deadline is the greater people’s expectations become.
7. And I now insist that my coworkers only call me by the name “Chocolate Thunder, Boy Wonder” Anything else is an insult.
8. I’ve been listening to the new Ill Bill lately. The beats are bangin’ and once I get past the ignorance he spits he's saying some sh*t. Hypocritical, maybe. Disturbing, most definitely.
9. People love telling me their problems and I’m like, “Come on now….I’m about one tax bill away from starting my own religious cult (women only) and moving up to the mountains to live in isolation. What makes you think I have the answer?”
10. Today on the train the woman sitting next to me seemed offended when I asked her if she had stepped in something. Upon checking her stilettos she realized she did.