How does someone reach the age of fifty, have several college degrees, and obtain a 100k plus position without having learned the fundamental principals taught in kindergarten?

Ok, I’m using a public facility (that shall remain nameless)….doin’ my thing. Someone else is there in the stall….doin’ their thing. After a hot minute he finishes, walks over to the sink, leans forward, brushes his hair to the side, scrapes something off his front tooth….then just walks out the door.

Ummm…did you forget something?

Well, maybe I’m being too hasty in my judgment. Highly successful individuals probably don’t “do their thing” the way the rest of us do. It’s probably released in an ultra sanitized pouch in their choice of scent, Summer Rain or Boysenberry, thus eliminating the need for post-disposal clean up and the general messiness associated with it. I think a French doctor can do the procedure for the price of a small yacht. It’s the perfect gift for that corporate multi-tasker on the go.

Yeah, right.

From now on I’m walking around with a little can of Lysol and hittin’ everything up before I touch it. No joke.