Well, the doctors are stumped.

One of the best medical networks in the country and they can’t figure out why this shining example of the male species has been hobbling around like a tortured gimp that just found his way out of the basement. Heart’s ok, so are the liver and kidneys, and no infectious diseases. (Got kinda shook over that one.) Still everything below my knees is swollen. So my doctor recommended that I wear leg compressors to help move the fluid and I take a diuretic for a while.

So this weekend, Chris is gonna be rockin’ some “special hosiery” at the cookout while taking a pill that is supposed to make him pee.

Lucky for me, I’m comfortable with my masculinity.

Maybe I’ll ask my doctor if I can at least replace the pill with beer.

p.s. I'm not automatically assuming people don't know what the word diuretic means, but my @ss had to look it up and I know I wasn't the only one who didn't see it on the SAT's.