Tuesday, August 03, 2004

On edge…

The electrical inspector’s coming to look at my kitchen remodeling project today.

Unfortunately, he is coming at 10:30 and I’m hosting a 11:00 meeting at work, so I cannot be present. Seven plus months of planning and back-breaking work has come down to a couple of critical days and that leaves me sitting here doing the only thing I can do…going over possible outcomes.

1. The inspector will come, look over the electrical work, find everything up to code, and get the hell outta my house.

2. With me not present, the electrician could decide to point out all the electrical flaws that exist in every 100yr old house, forcing the inspector to have me upgrade everything, and forcing me to pay the electrician thousands more to do the work. There’s no two ways around this one…I’ve stayed up at night doin’ the math. If he wants to screw me….I just fell forward, hit my head, and passed out…@ss all in the air.

3. The inspector could look over my carpentry work and say, “What the f*ck is this?!”, find that the wall I built isn’t up to code, and have me tear three months of work down. Or worse he could deem my load-bearing wall inadequate, slap me with a hefty fine for legally trying to improve my residence, and declare my home inhabitable until the problem is resolved. Worst, worst, worst case scenario.

4. Murphy’s Law could take effect. From frozen pipes causing showers not to work, to leaky skylights, to heating systems that just shut off during an Artic freeze I’ve realized that Murphy’s Law is a consistent, money sucking, life draining, why-the-hell-did-this-happen-after-I-just-bought-all-them-Christmas-presents...b*tch.

5. These two loose screws I have rattling around in my head could finally decide they are sick and tired of pretending to hold on. Even right now they’re saying, “Hey Chris, we’re really not fooling anyone.”

In my life, I’ve always taken risks. While failure sometime occurs the pay-off is much greater. But in the period of time between choosing to take a risk and the actual outcome…this is the downside that you live with. Damage control, working all the angles, and be prepared for the worst. This is why my friends say it looks like I’m always thinking about something. They don’t know the half.

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