Go my pretty snakes! Go and do my evil bidding!

Even though I have beef with my next door neighbor, Snitchie, I don’t let my dislike for the man affect the way I treat his kids. He has a boy and a girl, both under twelve, and they are very well-mannered, smart, and respectful for the most part.

Yesterday, I was doing some yard work and saw the boy playing basketball in his yard without a shirt.

I called out to him, “Hey, put those muscles away. You’re making me look like the ten year old.”

He laughed, came up to the fence and said, “Um, Mr. Chris, I think you have a snake in your garage.” (It’s funny, they call me Mr. Chris in real life.)

“Yeah, I’m sure I have a few in there. Probably some up in the bushes too.”, I responded.

His eyes widened and he screamed, “There’s more?!”

“Well yeah, its summertime and those little garden snakes are everywhere. You probably got some over there too.”

“No! No we don’t! We don’t have any snakes in our yard!”

“Okaaaaaaay then, I guess all the snakes just live in my yard.”

“Well, when you see them could you put them in your trash can or something? I found some snake skin over here and we don’t want to get bit by any of your snakes.”

I assured him that if I saw any snakes I would properly dispose of them and then I thought to myself, “Did this little guy just run up on me to complain about snakes migrating from my yard into his?”

Yup.

Sounds exactly like his father.