I’m cursed when it comes to waiting in lines.

Seriously. I don’t know why, but every 3 out of 5 lines I get into there ends up being a problem that causes a delay. I could be behind one person at a hot dog stand and for some reason a brew-ha-ha would pop-off and keep me from eating for at least fifteen minutes. One of my ancestors must have been a line-cutter or something and now all his offspring have to live with this curse. It’s uncanny. My friends have even taken notice, leaving me to do a lot of my shopping alone. If I were to do a statistical table of the problems I see while waiting in lines it would look like this:

• Price check with an unresponsive department representative. 7%
  
• Cashier having to call manager because they do not have any ones. 5%
  
• Customer with lack of funds or 3rd party check that needs 6 approvals. 5%
  
• Customer with claims of a sale sign that no one else can seem to find. 10%
  
• Customer with $50 worth of merchandise and $30 dollars to spend asking for the balance after each item is rung in. 20%
  
• Argument between cashier and customer over 75 cents. 10%
  
• Physical confrontation between cashier and customer over the same 75 cents. 2%
  
• Customer arguing with cashier and manager because, Skrimps, Daiquiri mix, and chocolate edible body lotion cannot be purchased with food stamps. 40%
  
• Customer pulls out a weapon and demands the drawer and a carton of Newports. 1%

Well, that’s the boulder I've been blessed to haul around with me for the rest off my life. So when the woman in front of me starts screaming and the people behind me start to groan I turn around and say, “I’m sorry, this is really my fault…… I’m cursed.”