Everyone has their favorite dish. That dish that you tell yourself, “If I was ever stranded on a deserted island I could see myself having this every day.” Well, my dish happens to be one that you just can’t find at every corner pizza, sub, or BBQ spot. In fact, I’ve only had it a few times in my life. People keep trying to make it for me, but I’ve found out that for the most part they either do not have the right ingredients or do not know what the right ingredients are. Yes, I’ve tasted some very interesting renditions. So, when I saw my dish I made it a point to capture her attention, introduce myself, and bring her to my dining table. Stirring the steaming pot, I asked her what her name was. As my mouth watered impatiently, her lips parted to respond…and I was surprised to find that her potentially meaningful name was enveloped in a cloud of menthol. Damn…she just unknowingly hit a cup of salt with her elbow and added it to the mix. I subtly put my appetite on hold in search for better fare and bounced. For some dudes it might have been a good meal, the kind where you stop snacking before dinner. But for me, it was like finding out there was human body part hidden somewhere in the stew.

Yeah, that's the face I made.

Feel free to add your own sound of disgust here.

Passion is when you love something just about as much as you hate it.

Read then listen.

When someone asks you what you want for your birthday and your response is, “Well, I can always use new underwear and dress socks”, I think it’s safe to assume that your childhood is over.

Today's Horoscope
You've recently made some extremely permanent plans others may have thought were a bit premature. Current events will prove them wrong, however -- much to your delight. Try not to be too, too smug. It's not polite to obviously gloat.
*****

O.K. Mr. Horoscope. This is more like it. You just might be right about this one, or at least I hope you are. In the past I’ve always noticed that the majority of my plans were a little, let’s say, unconventional. And when I explain my thought process to friends and even family members I often get a “that sounds like crazy-talk” look. And I guess nine times out of ten when the plan doesn’t work out that’s exactly what it looks like….crazy talk. But looking at the big picture, I believe you need to fail several times before you succeed at anything. And when that happens, of course I feel great...but try not to gloat. Simply because, no matter how many wins you have under your belt, at any given moment all that can be stripped from you by two little things: A bad set of circumstances followed by an equally bad decision.

A moment of silence.
Please.
For Crooked I.
One of our own..
A fallen solider.
In the war.
Against wackness.
He has joined the fate.
Of so many before him.
Now signed to Death Row Records.
He is probably in a place.
Surrounded by.
Rented Women.
Automobiles.
And Jewelry.
We can only hope.
His rebirth.
Will be a second coming
Instead of just another tale.
Fitting the name.
Of his new label.
Until then.
Let’s remember him.
When he was.
Hungry.

They originally told me it was going to be like a nature hike.

Yeah, nature hike my @ss…it was more like a full-fledged mountain climb without the proper equipment or Sherpa to guide the way.

At first I thought, "I’m strong. I’ll probably be to the top before any one of these guys." So, I wrapped what little dreads I had in a bandana and dug my nails into the earth. And honestly, I felt like a pro….well, for about twenty minutes I felt like one. Once my initial "gung-ho, let’s do this b*tch" energy had been exhausted I was close enough to the ground where I could still see my car, but high enough where I had stripped off three layers of clothing and drank half my water supply. Either way, it was least an hour to the top or bottom of this mini-Mount Everest, rock from Hell. So, feeling frustrated and not really knowing what to do, I did the only thing that one can do when their muscles and lungs declare, "No man, not gonna happen, no". I sat and rested. It might have been just a couple of minutes to fish an elusive piece of granite out of my boot, but it was long enough to evaluate my situation, see where I was, and where I wanted to be. Once the surprisingly small pebble was found, I continued upward. Not without other obstacles, though. I found myself needing to stop and rest after I blindly put my faith in a weak tree branch; after I accidentally placed my hand in a local’s nest; and after I was taunted by my more experienced rock climbing friends on their way back down to the car. Well, several periods of rest (and curses) later I made it to the top, lit up some herbals (yeah, I used to get my "hey man" on back in the day….don’t act so innocent) and just sat with no plans on making an immediate decent. As I looked over the fiery autumn horizon I thought, "Screw them, I got the keys."

I haven’t been rock climbing since then, but in a lot of ways I’m facing mountains that are of greater proportions and come with some of the same obstacles. The rock I’m sitting on right now is a kitchen remodeling project. I still have no Sherpa as I’m doing most of the work myself (for the first time), my weak tree branch has been shady contractors who look at the job in terms of how much they can squeeze out of my wallet rather than the work I need done, my snake has been the local building inspector who is more concerned with catching me doing something wrong than telling me the right way to go about things when asked, and my friends…well, lets just say some people have a lot of lip service while others shine when it’s crunch time. Now I sit here experiencing the same feelings I did when I was stuck in the middle of that rock, except muscles I didn’t know I even had are now expressing their discomfort. (How the in hell do you pull a butt cheek?) And as I sit here trying not to awaken my childhood asthma by inhaling airborne plaster, sawdust, and lead paint I think about the one thing that comforts me when I feel I want throw my hands up in the air and scream, "F*ck it!!!" It’s the lesson I took back from rock climbing.

When taking on a new task one of the most important tools one can have is patience. There are some mountains that are not meant to be scaled in one day. Sometimes to succeed, there is a point where you need to stop, rest, and then continue.

Today's Horoscope
An old lover is about to make contact, after months or even years of yearning after your incredible connection. Be careful not to let old issues interfere with what could be a whole new beginning.
*****

Hmmmm, it's always flattering when an ex pops out of nowhere with that drunken phone call at 2am and slurs the words, "Ummmm...I wuz jussss thinkin' bout yoooou." (Ha…I was even guilty of that a couple of times in my younger days.) But, I always say, “Everybody has issues, myself included. What determines if two people are compatible or not is the tolerance level that they have for each other's issues.”

Examples:

1.) Leaving the cap off the toothpaste is an issue I can deal with. (As long as you NEVER, EVER do it again.)

2.) Selling my valuables to buy crack and smoke it with your ex-boyfriend because you had a bad day is an issue I can't deal with. (Well, I've never had to deal with that one for obvious reasons.)

In short, if things didn't work out the first time, they didn't work out for a reason. So sorry Mr. Horoscope, I can't take your advice on this one.

Oh, and another issue that raises a red flag for me…shoplifting. Nobody wants to hear how you just boosted them a gift. (Unfortunately that one was real, again from my younger days.)

The low-income tenements that cap the ends of my street are a regular source of discarded chip bags, green beer bottles, stripped chicken bones, and random criminal element. After my seemingly daily ritual of cleaning the first three out of my bushes I had developed a thirst, so I decided to hit up the bodega around the corner for a juice. The larger tenement’s sidewalk had been cleaned earlier that morning, but was now littered with a few female residents and two younger males that by the way they were dressed and leaned on their ride could have easily been a backdrop for a Snoop Dog video. As I passed through their conversation, I heard a “snap” come from the taller male and my Spider-Sense started to tingle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the sun’s reflection and realized he had displayed a knife, probably a butterfly. I kept walking to the store and quenched my thirst. Now, on the way back there were two routes I could have taken. One: around the other side of the block or Two: back the way I came. Well, I’m sure you know which direction I chose. And within the confines of these words it would have been easy to embellish a heroic knife fight where I ended up looking like the previously mentioned superhero (yes, much easier in writing) but my walk back went off without incident. Well, besides this…the conflict that I felt from walking the line between looking for trouble and the need to p*ss on my territory. One seems foolish while the other seems necessary. There is one thing I am not conflicted about though, “If I have to live with the tenements, they have to live with me.”

“I asked….do you feel me? And the crowd left me stranded.”
- Talib Kweli

I had a craving for those bomb chicken wings this weekend so I found myself waiting in line behind this young brother. I’d say he was about 20 or 21. From the way he ordered his steakbomb, I could tell he was from around my way. He was talking to his boy behind the grill and explaining why he hadn’t been around lately. Slapping the counter he said, “I’ve been working mad hours, yo. I’m sayin’…I was just hanging out, gettin’ into bullsh*t so I figured that if there was an extra shift I’d take it…If someone called out I’d come in. I’ve been workin’ like a b*tch, but I clocked like 12 hundred last month.” Now, I’m standing there, looking at the back of this cat’s braids like, “Damn…when I was 21 my biggest ambition was finding things I could mix into Ramen noodles to make ‘em taste like Lo Mein.” I admit, I was impressed….until he reached into his hoodie said, “Yeah, I just copped this wit it.” His boy’s eyes sparkled like the new iced “L” medallion and he shouted, “Daaaaaaamn!!…I’m pickin’ up some extra hours, son.”