There I sat…
...much like I’m sitting now, without knowing how or what I should be feeling. Sometimes people encounter situations that encompass a wide range of emotions, from absolute joy to soul-shaking fear. And I’ve found that when writing about such experiences it’s difficult not to have the end result sound like a tale that is told from a kaleidoscope of different perspectives. I realize that some things just can’t be nicely packaged in a couple of neat and tidy well-crafted sentences. So if you were to ask me how I feel at this moment, I would simply say this: I sat there holding a tiny new life and all of his potential in my arms and for the first time in my life there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that God really liked me.
With that said I’d like to introduce my newborn son,
Zachary William. Now don’t let the light complexion fool ya. This kid is a hefty serving of fried chicken, black-eyed peas, and collards, seasoned with Adobo y Sazón Goya, and surprisingly served with a Tiramisu` drenched in aged Brugal Dominican Rum. The doctor said the melanin will come once he’s had a little time to let the flavor soak in. Although I feel he’s ready to be put on a platter and served to the world as is. And much to his mother’s chagrin, I’ve been presenting him as “Zach the Black Mack”, “Lil’ Hellboy”, or “Big Poppa’s Really Big Tax Exemption”. But no matter what I choose to call him he’s still my funny little guy and quite possibly the very reason I am and was meant to be.
So here we are...you and I. Back in this virtual meeting place we created. I say we because, while I choose to write my stories of the past, hopes for the future, and gripes of the present…you listen. I simply provide the hors d'oeuvres for this party. You walk in and provide the life. Without you, I’m just that kid whose parents had horribly planned his birthday party on December 25th at 10am. Sitting there all dressed up only to be told even the clown canceled. So at the end of our get-togethers, when all is said and done, I happily clean up and start to think about the next one because I truly appreciate every guest that has walked through this door…silent or verbose. And I mean that.
So that still leaves me sitting here, 3:24am, with Hellboy lying on my chest as I’m contorting my body so not to wake him while writing this. Now, In addition to not knowing how to feel, I don’t know what to expect…for myself or my life. I’ll still love BBQ…and Hip Hop…and my people…and will always believe that no matter how much bullsh*t we go through in this life in the end it will all be worth it. This I know won’t change. But some things will….they already have. No more sleeping around with super-models…or riding choppers buck-naked through the Mexican badlands…or negotiating with bank hostage takers on a drunken dare. Yeah, I’m afraid that Chris just might have gradually turned into the “Old Guy at the Club”…and as always he was the last person to find out…while doin’ his trademark two-step. Oh, well. I’ve had a good run. And all of that is really insignificant anyway. The major change I do see is in my time. Honestly, this will affect our get-togethers. As I stated above I truly enjoy them, but they might not happen as much. I’ll still post/b*tch from time to time, because sharing my thoughts is something I’ll always enjoy doing, but at this moment what I enjoy doing isn’t really important. I’ve spent the majority of my days here writing my life story, but I now need to teach Zachary how to write his own.
Well, Hellboy’s finally asleep. I’m going to see if I can catch a couple hours with him.
With that said I’d like to introduce my newborn son,
Zachary William. Now don’t let the light complexion fool ya. This kid is a hefty serving of fried chicken, black-eyed peas, and collards, seasoned with Adobo y Sazón Goya, and surprisingly served with a Tiramisu` drenched in aged Brugal Dominican Rum. The doctor said the melanin will come once he’s had a little time to let the flavor soak in. Although I feel he’s ready to be put on a platter and served to the world as is. And much to his mother’s chagrin, I’ve been presenting him as “Zach the Black Mack”, “Lil’ Hellboy”, or “Big Poppa’s Really Big Tax Exemption”. But no matter what I choose to call him he’s still my funny little guy and quite possibly the very reason I am and was meant to be.
So here we are...you and I. Back in this virtual meeting place we created. I say we because, while I choose to write my stories of the past, hopes for the future, and gripes of the present…you listen. I simply provide the hors d'oeuvres for this party. You walk in and provide the life. Without you, I’m just that kid whose parents had horribly planned his birthday party on December 25th at 10am. Sitting there all dressed up only to be told even the clown canceled. So at the end of our get-togethers, when all is said and done, I happily clean up and start to think about the next one because I truly appreciate every guest that has walked through this door…silent or verbose. And I mean that.
So that still leaves me sitting here, 3:24am, with Hellboy lying on my chest as I’m contorting my body so not to wake him while writing this. Now, In addition to not knowing how to feel, I don’t know what to expect…for myself or my life. I’ll still love BBQ…and Hip Hop…and my people…and will always believe that no matter how much bullsh*t we go through in this life in the end it will all be worth it. This I know won’t change. But some things will….they already have. No more sleeping around with super-models…or riding choppers buck-naked through the Mexican badlands…or negotiating with bank hostage takers on a drunken dare. Yeah, I’m afraid that Chris just might have gradually turned into the “Old Guy at the Club”…and as always he was the last person to find out…while doin’ his trademark two-step. Oh, well. I’ve had a good run. And all of that is really insignificant anyway. The major change I do see is in my time. Honestly, this will affect our get-togethers. As I stated above I truly enjoy them, but they might not happen as much. I’ll still post/b*tch from time to time, because sharing my thoughts is something I’ll always enjoy doing, but at this moment what I enjoy doing isn’t really important. I’ve spent the majority of my days here writing my life story, but I now need to teach Zachary how to write his own.
Well, Hellboy’s finally asleep. I’m going to see if I can catch a couple hours with him.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home