Feelin' good.

The problem with my legs is still present…in fact it’s worse now. I just haven’t mentioned it because I don’t think anyone would be interested in reading “I feel like crap” posts day after day. Well, I finally got tired of medical specialists poking me with needles, putting me under x-rays, and touching my man-bacon then looking me in the face and calling my condition an anomaly. I decided to look at the problem the same way I look at every other problem in my life…if anyone’s gonna solve it…it’s most likely gonna be me. So, I did some research this week and here’s my very uneducated, don’t know the first thing about the medical field, theory:

While working on my house I caused some sort of trauma to the Lymphatic tissues in my lower legs. Most likely from hammering, scraping, and sanding on all fours for several hours at a time or pressing my legs up against a metal ladder to keep my balance. Either way…I f*cked them up. The trauma caused a build up of fluid which caused the swelling, extreme pain, and my inability to “swagger” for several weeks. Since my doctor’s assistant initially told me just to go home put ice on them and take aspirin, the protein rich fluid in my legs remained for at least a month and it became a Lymphatic infection. This explains why the pain in my legs has remained and has been accompanied with feeling like they are on fire. This explains why on a 90 degree day I’ve been coming home from work, closing all the windows, turning off the fan, and hoping straight in bed with my clothes on and covering myself with several blankets talkin’ about I’m freezing. This explains why I’ve been drinking 27 glasses of water a day and my mouth stays dry. This explains why I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and scratching my burning limbs for hours. (In fact I’m writing this at 2:13am because the itching got me up again.) This also explains why I’ve been walking around my job (Whoa….I’ just got de ja vu….I’ve either wrote this before….or dreamed about it….weird) anyway, this also explains why I’ve been walking around my job feeling like a zombie who’s begging to be returned to the afterlife. Yeah, three months of this sh*t…feelin’ like I have some sort of malaria and need to have my legs amputated.

Well, I presented my theory to the group of specialists and they all looked at each other, left the room, then came back and said, “It sounds like it might be a strong possibility.” They agreed I should be put on an antibiotic for the infection and I should have a biopsy done to try and determine the cause of the inflammation.

I’ve been on the antibiotic for only two days now and the symptoms still remain; only now they are accompanied with the side effects of the medicine, tiredness and headaches. But through all of that if you were to ask me how I’m feeling I’d say, “I’m feeling good.” Why? Well, I’m feeling good because for the first time in three months the doctors aren’t blindly testing me and they are following a documented possibility. But most of all I’m really feeling good because during this three month ordeal I haven’t let it stop me. Out of three months the Boy Wonder has only taken three sick days and has been there to carry his responsibilities and the responsibilities of other’s on his back. And on the weekends and some weeknights he’s still put on the tool belt and ripped down walls then constructed superior ones like he was in perfect health and didn’t want to be wrapped up in bed. Yeah, I’m kinda feelin’ myself right now. But it goes beyond feelin’ good. It goes beyond The Chocolate Thunder Boy Wonder. It goes beyond even feelin’ like a certified monster. I honestly feel borderline demonic…and there are not too many people that can see me right now.

The biopsy left me with stitches in my leg, so I’m gonna take this weekend off because I’m afraid if I start working I might rip them. So let me just say this to all the people (who most likely aren't reading this) who kinda look at me funny in that little doubtful way….wait till I get better...cause you didn't even know I was sick. That's whats up....